Objectively, I’ve a Serious-Problem with the Aforementioned…I’ll explain how/why.
Chemistry/Compatibility isn’t “overrated”, it’s essential for any/all Human-Relationships…it’s just not the Most-Important Thing via Sexual-Relationships, Marriage, etc. But, that’ll never erase/replace the Fact that Chemistry/Compatibility matters. More often than not: if/whenever anyine speaks like this, it’s actually the Result of either themselves being Toxic via Human-Relationships, or that they’ve tolerated Toxic-Relationships with People. So, to compensate as per their Relationship-Errors, Many-Persons forfeit Natural/Normal-Dimensions of Chemistry/Compatibility & build-up a Nostalgic-Image of a Life-Partner whom seemingly is without Fault-Or-Flaw, yet that Type/Kind of Mindset/Mentality is itself Highly-Unhealty.
Ironically though, there’s literally Amthāl/Examples, via at-Tanzīl/Revelation, which undoubtedly prove that Chemistry/Compatibilty are profoundly important as per Human-Relationships…for example:
a. The Marriage/Divorce between Zayd ibn-il-Hārithah & Zaynab bint-Jahsh (May Allah be pleased with them both)…their Marriage failed because of Lack-Of-Chemistry, Lack-Of-Compatibility, etc.
b. The Marriage/Divorce between Thābit ibn-Qays ibn-Shammās & Habībah bint-Sahl (May Allah be pleased with them both)…their Marriage failed because of Lack-Of-Chemistry, Lack-Of-Compatibility, etc.
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.33, V.37; at-Tabarī; as-Suyūtī; at-Tirmidhī; ibn-Mājah)
Zaynab no longer wanted to remain married to Zayd, because of their Status as an Ex-Slave (which according to the Arab-World View was literally worse than being Non-Arab & worse than being a Slave), in spite of the Fact that:
a. Zayd was one of the Best-Companions, as per Character/Behavior.
b. Zayd was a Member of Ahl-il-Bayt, via being the Adopted-Son of Muhammad ibn-`Abdillah (Peace be upon them).
Habībah no longer wanted to remain married to Thābit, because they were forced to be Husband&Wife while they were both Slaves prior to becoming Muslims, being emancipated, etc. and because Thābit was a Bad-Looking Person, in spite of the Fact that Habībah self-admitted that the Character/Behavior of Thābit was Top-Shelf.
Keep in Mind…these were the
Sahābah/Companions (May Allah be pleased with them altogether) & even they were on This-Kind/Type of Time, via Superficiality/Shallowness. So, this actually tells us a lot. It teaches us that the Sahābah were just as superficial as any Other-People amongst them and/or after them. It teaches us that there’s actually Certain Islāmic-Allowances for Superficiality, Shallowness, etc. It details Real-Life Scenarios, of Real-People, having Real-Experiences with each other. One of the Premier-Problems amongst us, as Muslims, is the Pseudo-Piety Mythos. To pontificate/claim that Good-Character/Behavior is what matters exclusively: Yeah…all of that sounds Noble, Good, etc. But, that’s not Reality. We, as Muslims, are Islāmically-Mandated to view Real-Life in Real-Ways: Human-Relationships are literally no Exception.
Gareth Bryant 1444, A.H./2022, C.E.
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