It’s a very Surreal-Experience, to hear any Fellow-Human to say:
“You’re the Answer to my Prayers.”
It sounds Absolutely-Wild, for anyone to be considered as such. But, it does indeed happen All-The-Time. And, I’m sure that being told this affects everyone the Same-Way it’s affected me personally.
When I saw&heard the Aforementioned-Patient Crying&Weeping, as they uttered that I was the “Answer to their Prayers”: this quite literally shook my Entire-Soul. It was really an Intense-Sense of Unworthiness. It was very challenging to take in. There was a Stillness within my Body: my Mind&Heart were On yet my Body felt Completely-Numb. It felt like a Confusing-Hilm/Dream. A Hilm I couldn’t wake up from, until after the Engagement between the Patient & I ended.
This Singular-Event truly changed the Way I view myself. I say this, because, in spite of my own Personal-Imperfections: Allah still has masterfully fashioned me to be a Human-Lighthouse for Others whom view themselves Lost. It’s something which is weighty yet honorable all at the Same-Time. Ironically, the aforementioned occured on the Same-Day on of my Co-Workers said that everytime they see me, that I’m a Light which they see. And, moreover, this Same-Coworker told me to never stop being a Light for Other-People.
Anytime, everytime, I ponder about such Happenings…wondering…how/why did Allah choose me to be a Light for Others?!!! This isn’t the 1st-Time I’ve been called someone’s Light. I distinctively remember, one of my Childhood-Friends I grew-up with told me Word4Word as per what I mean for my Peers: “You’re a Light for us.”. And, then via Another-Scenario, one of my Other Childhood-Friends told me Word4Word: “We were all supposed to end-up like you.”. Those-Words struck me very fiercely.
I’ve literally had Certain-Persons: Speakers, Personalities, A’immah/Leaders, Shuyūkh/Teachers, Tullāb/Students, Du`āt/Promoters, etc. who’ve told me (Word4Word) that I’m the Person they can’t be. They’ve literally told me (Word4Word), that they agree with what I present, stand for, convey, etc. But, they’re afraid of being ostracized, alienated, etc. for publicly agreeing with what I state, post, write, etc. So, upon that…it’s easy to see how/why Certain-Persons absolutely don’t even want Position. Having that Kind/Type of Respondibility over Others is highly stressful, to say the least. And, that’s precisely how/why Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated: “Whomever is made a Qādhī (Judge/Ruler) between People, they’ve been slaughtered without even Weaponry.”
(Abū-Dāwud, ibn-Mājah)
As them & I continued the Convo, they stated something positive yet shockingly unexpected: “Don’t disconnect from the Brothers who love you. You’ve always been our Teacher.”. That was difficult to receive, because the Person whom stated it: I personally regard them as a Person-Of-Knowledge themselves. So, for them to have that to say about me is honestly very humbling.
When People say Things like that about/to me: I never take it lightly. How/why am I even worthy of being viewed by Others as being a “Light” for Others?!!! How/why am I a “Light”, in spite of my Flaws?!!! I may never know honestly. Perhaps, Allah knows best, it’ll never be for me to find-out.
Scenarios like these always remind me of the Following-Texts of an-Nuzūl/Revelatory-Scriptures:
Everytime I’m working as a Chaplain:
a. I care about Other-People.
b. I’m patient with Other-People.
c. I sacrifice myself to help Other-People.
d. I make the Lives of Other-People easier.
Basically…I literally get paid to be Muslim:
Everything I’m Professionally-Obligated to do, for Others, ironically, is what every Muslim is individually Islāmically-Mandated to do for Others.
What Gareth Bryant means to Others
Such Revelatory-Texts, albeit with my Flaws&All:
I’ve still Immense-Rajā/Hope, that even one like me has a Chance/Shot to acquire ar-Rahmah (Mercy), as well as an-Ni`mah (Favor), etc. from Allah.
Gareth Bryant
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