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The Issue of Domestic-Abuse is very often used via both Muslim&Non-Muslim Islāmophobes, Murtads/Apostates/Ex-Muslims, etc. to pontificate/claim that al-Islām co-signs azh-Zhulm (Oppression, Abuse, etc.). This is exclusively based upon at-Tahrīf/Textual-Distortion, regarding a Revelatory-Text (Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.4, V.34).
Even prior to any Muslim or Non-Muslim Woman getting married to any Muslim-Man: there’s an Established Vetting-Matrix in which the Walī/Islāmic-Guardian is to ensure that a Woman is being given in Marriage to the Right-Man.
A Classic-Example of such Failures:
Some time ago, I was informed that a Muslim brother repeatedly beats on his wife. When I first received the news, the fact that this is still an actual practice is generally disgusting. But, the fact that Muslims do this is worse, and the fact that I know the person is excruciatingly painful to know. This is mainly due to the fact that Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him), the ultimate religious example to & for all Muslims, was never known to abuse any of his wives, not in the least. He was even known to have prohibited a Muslim woman from marrying a Muslim man who was known during his lifetime as a woman-beater. Yet, we who come after him, who claim to be adherents to his noble example & lifestyle, act completely the opposite of his example & lifestyle. Now, as Muslims we know that accusations against people without evidence is a sin in and of itself. But, the person who told me this is an upstanding member of the Muslim-Community, among those who know them. And, when this person related this news to me, I really didn’t know how to handle this shocking revelation, and to be honest, I still don’t really know how to deal with this.
I had been struggling to find a solution to my torn conviction, by thinking about the following questions: How do I approach a Muslim, who’s been accused of manifesting Domestic-Violence? How can I approach a Muslim about this issue, without either learning later on that the allegations themselves were fraudulent, or causing tension and/or hatred between this individual & myself? How am I supposed to react, if the person whom I approach admits to manifesting Domestic-Violence and/or won’t stop abusing their respective spouse? If it is confirmed that these allegations are true, will he be dealt with accordingly, or will he be given a pass because of his status in the Muslim-Community?
All of these most important questions have been spinning in my head, as if I was obligated to do or say something about this situation. There were actually additional questions that I had going through my mind like: Since the person who told me this obviously knew that this was going on before they told me, why would they only tell me? Also, the person who told me about this situation specifically requested that I keep this information confidential (i.e. I’m not supposed to tell anyone). Then, I started thinking to myself, and my thoughts turned into more questions: How can I, as a Muslim & a man, keep something like this a secret? Do I expose this situation anyway, in search of the truth, at the expense of blatantly violating the trust of someone who confided in me? What if this backfires in my face, and it is not even investigated, or even taken seriously by the leaders of our community? What if the allegations are false & I begin to spread this allegation around, and because of me, this person’s reputation is tainted because of a lie?
Honestly, the whole affair is just a mess. One, for the simple fact that Domestic-Violence is a fabric of our society. Two, the fact that Muslims actually take part in such a shameful action. Three, the fact that a Muslim whom I know personally, a person whom I deemed to be a stand-up individual, (whom I now look at completely differently, in a negative way, because of this situation), has been accused of such a deplorable thing.My Gut-Feeling tells me that I should do or say something. But, what should I do & what should I say? I don’t know the answers to any of these questions.
But, I do know this: Domestic-Violence is a Disgusting-Practice, that is used by Cowardly-Individuals, to control Others, under the guise of Islam. There are Muslims (some whom I probably know personally) who wouldn’t dare to strike another man in the street; yet, they’ll strike their own wives.Also, many aspects of Domestic-Violence among Muslims stem from cultural constructs, which predate Islam arriving to certain civilizations & peoples and unfortunately, Domestic-Violence has not been culturally abandoned by many of these Muslims, who come from from homes & societies where there’s nothing wrong with beating your wife senseless.
And, I’m not just picking on foreign/immigrant Muslims and/or people who were born Muslim; there are many Muslims who accepted Islam & Muslims hailing from Non-Muslim countries, who’ve grown up in families & societies where Domestic-Violence has been a normal part of life for Generations.There’s even been Countless Muslim-Women who’ve literally either fled into the Arms of Non-Muslim Men (making themselves belong to the Streets), or have worst yet left al-Islām completely. Now, Islāmically: we as Muslims obviously know that there’s no Islāmic-Justification for any Muslim-Woman to be with any Non-Muslim Man, nor for anyone to leave al-Islām. However, there’s most definitely Reasons as per how/why these Scenarios play-out via Real-Life. And any/all of those Reasons are 💯% predicated upon the Failures of Muslim-Men, completely being Apathetically-Irresponsible & refusing to uphold what Allah states, “Men are Responsible for Women.”.
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.4, V.34)
Someone just asked about the permissibility of “striking” wives, from the famous verse, which speaks about “striking”, which Liberal/Secular-Muslims, Secularists, Orientalists, Atheists/Anti-Theists, and all-around Islamophobes, attempt to use as proofs that Islam condones domestic-violence and/or violence against women, generally.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.4, V.34) This is the ideal way to reply to them:This is why we’re intrinsically commanded to follow both The Qur’an & Sunnah/Prophetic-Tradition.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.62, V.2) In the Tafsīr/Commentary of this particular verse, is that in Pagan-Arab society, domestic-violence, much like today, was all too common, unfortunately. So, Allah had decided to place some injunctions upon Muslim-Men, on how to deal with spousal-issues.
And, the point of mentioning striking last was so that they would be able to resolve any/all conflicts with their spouses, without striking them, at all. Furthermore, in the Sunnah of Muhammad (Peace be upon him), there is a story, pertaining directly to this particular verse: It was when Muhammad himself had ordered Muslim-Men to stop striking their wives completely. And, once this happened, some male Companions came to him, and complained about their wives getting out of control, so Muhammad had allowed them to reprimand them, then, some female Companions came to him and said that their husbands were going overboard with their reprimanding. So, upon that, Muhammad had immediately ordered the discontinuation of striking wives, period.(Asbab-un-Nuzul/The Reasons/Circumstances of Revelation, Jalaluddin as-Suyuti)
And, also, let’s actually look at the Prophetic-Example: Did Muhammad, himself, personally, ever strike a woman, no.(Muslim) So, based upon this, let’s just follow his example, and be done with the whole issue. Besides, domestic-violence has absolute no place in a Muslim-Household, anyway, on any level, even though, unfortunately, it does.
There’s a Popular-Hadīth/Narration in which Muhammad (Peace be upon them) reported to have stated: “A Man will not be asked as to why he beat his Wife.”.(Abū-Dawūd…Grade: Dha`īf [Weak/Unreliable] by al-Albānī) Now, notice that this Narration is graded as Dha`īf/…just follow me here-By virtue of its weakness, it’s not at all suitable to be used as justification for any Ruling, Action, Precedent, Predicate, etc. Moreover, the Qur’ān directly contradicts this particular Narration: “What kind of Book is this?!!! There’s nothing Small nor Great, except that it’s been documented!!!”.(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.18, V.49&50) & “So, whoever does a Morcel of Good shall see it. And, whoever does a Morcel of Evil shall see it.”.(Noble-Qur’an: Chpt.99, V.7&8)
In addition, there’s a Narration which states that Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said, “None among the Son of Ādam will be dismissed from his Lord, until he’s asked about 5: 1. His Years (his Time on Earth: his Life), how he lived it…2. His Youth, how did he utilize it…3. His Wealth, where it was earned…4. How his Wealth was spent…5. His Knowledge, and how he behaved (based upon it) with it.”.(at-Tirmidhī) And, guess what?!!! It literally takes Time to beat one’s Wife. So, yeah…you’re still gonna be held Acountable for ya Wife-Beatin Fam. I say this simply because the aforementioned Narration which was used to begin this post: too often, Muslim-Men use that Narration, despite it’s Weakness, to justify the Abuse of Women. Even when it comes to the Verse in Chpt.4, V.34 of al-Qur’ān, pertaining to the Islāmic-Allowance to beat one’s Wife…based upon the Religious-Edicts (Commands/Prohibitions) of Muhammad, it’s plainly clear to see that this portion of this Verse had been Mansūkh/Abrogated by as-Sunnah/the Prophetic-Tradition which is also Revelation in addition to The Qur’ān.
For example:
Ironically, some of the many Narrations addressing the Islāmic-Prohibition of Wife-Beating are in the same Hadīth-Collection as this Weak-Narration, which is the Subject of this Post, and probably most Brothers familiar with this Narration either don’t know or don’t even care concerning the Weakness of this Narration, and as I always tell People: Apathy is worse than Ignorance.
Gareth Bryant
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