Allah states:
“Those whom believe pay attention: Revere Allah and speak a Straight-Word.”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.33, V.70)
“Have you seen those whom take their Desires as their God? Are you then their Enabler?”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.25, V.43)
Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated:
“Always speak Truth, even if it’s bitter (even if it rubs People the Wrong-Way).”
(ibn-Hibbān&al-Bayhaqī)
al-Muqaddimah/Prelude
There’s a Diabolically-Disgusting Trend, amongst both Men & Women alike (specifically Muslim-Men&Women), in that Persons audaciously as well as arrogantly impose Blame&Fault against their Ex-Spouses as though they themselves did absolutely nothing to contribute to the Downfall of their Sexual-Relationships. This is 💯%-Untruth/Dishonesty. This is 💯%-Cowardly. This is 💯% Bozo-Behavior.
The Anatomy of the Blame/Fault-Game
Let’s actually define “Blame”:
It’s establishing that one is the Human-Reason how/why Negativity took place.
Let’s actually define “Fault”:
Albeit one may not be the Human-Reason for Negativity occurring, they still made 0-Attempt to prevent the Negativity.
Let’s be truthful/honest here
As Humans: we despise being Blameworthy or Faultworthy regarding anything, especially if/when we’ve actually ourselves committed Foul-Shit. Now, particularly, as per a Sexual-Relationship: that’s even more of a Reality because Sex will always make any Human-Relationship complicated. That being the Case: if/when any Sexual-Relationship goes awry, no Human wants to holistically admit to Fuckin-Up. There’s just so/too many Men&Women in our World, whom attempt to play the “Woe-Is-Me” and the “Damsel-In-Distress” Cards. As per Relationship Fuck-Ups, Most-People are never “Victims”, rather most of us are Casualties of our own Stupidity. Men pursue Women. Women choose Men. We’re literally the “Red-Flags” within Others which we readily ignore.
The Blame/Fault-Breakdown
All Human-Relationship Meltdowns are predicated upon either Partner/Ex-Partner being:
90% or 10% Blameworthy/Faultworthy
80% or 20% Blameworthy/Faultworthy
70% or 30% Blameworthy/Faultworthy
60% or 40% Blameworthy/Faultworthy
50/50% Blameworthy/Faultworthy
“Men pursue Women…Women choose Men.”
There’s a Reason how/why I aforementioned this. I’ll explain precisely
Men:
Men will purposely pursue Women they know they don’t want to build a Life with, nor breed with.
Women:
Women will purposely choose Men they know won’t provide, nor protect, and won’t be Good-Fathers.
Yet, still, those Same-Men/Women will tell they World:
“She did this” & “He did that”
Certain-Men/Women will go to any/every Extent to deflect Personal-Responsibility/Accountability.
#UnpopularFact:
No Man is entitled/justified to complain about any Woman they pursued. No Woman is entitled/justified to complain about any Man they chose.
The “Red-Flags” we complain about
The Reason we avoid, deflect, ignore the “Red-Flags” we Bitch&Moan about being in Other-People:
We really think/feel that we’re “Perfect”.
We know, for a Fact, that to address the Red-Flags within Others means that we address our own Red-Flags equally. But, we largely avoid doing so. And, it’s because we’re addicted to Pseudo-Perfection. Naturally, if/whenever someone views themselves as “Perfect”: of course they’ll ignore the Same Red-Flags we know that’s in us that’s also what we see in Others. We refuse to self-correct, because Self-Correction requires us to point the Finger-Of-Judgment at ourselves just like we impose the Finger-Of-Judgment upon Others.
Certain-People often always are quick to point at Others, pontificating the “Red-Flags” of Others, etc. (meaning, the Negative/Toxic-Characteristics of Other-People). Also, very often there’re Certain-Persons whom pontificate/claim: “I ignored the Red-Flags.” & there’s a Reason for this. It’s because we, as Humans, individually…all of us…etc.: we’re literallyaddicted to being Relationship Cry-Babies. The Way Allah chose to create al-Insān/Humanity…as Human-Beings: we’re each/all the Mirrors of one another. We all possess equally Positivity & Negativity. The Difference, however, is that we each have al-Mashī’ah/Freewill. We make Choices, Decisions, etc. thus determining whether we go Right or Left…Positive or Negative…Righteous or Wretched…etc.
Now, as per what I’ve aforementioned (regarding the “Relationship Cry-Baby”). Yeah…that’s a Real-Thing. I’ve literally seen it manifest itself, my Entire-Life, both professionally & personally. The Relationship Cry-Baby literally wants to blame/fault anyone, everyone, etc. as per Negativity/Toxicity via their Lives. But, they’re never willing to fess-up to the Role which they played in how/why they self-imposed Negativity/Toxicity upon themselves. As a Chaplain (Counselor/Therapist), I constantly/consistantly come across dealing with Relationship Cry-Babies. These’re Persons whom pontificate/claim that they want/need Relationship-Healing, yet ironically they only desire for the Healing to be 1-Sided. By that, I mean this: they audaciously/arrogantly only want People to correct Others & they themselves to be given “Passes” as per the Goofy-Shit they do.
We’re addicted to Pseudo-Expectations
Unrealistic-Expectations are often the Number-1 Thing which’ll destroy any Human-Realitionship. Of course, the Hypocritical-Irony is that most of the Unrealistic-Expectations we dare to impose upon Others: we would never impose upon ourselves. The Number-1 Unrealistic-Expectation is People expecting Others to make them “happy”. Happiness is a Personal-Responsibility: no one can make someone “happy”, but anyone can make someone miserable. None of us are responsible for making anyone “happy”. Rather, all of us are responsible for not making anyone miserable.
The Results of Personal-Responsibility/Acountability being rejected by Relationship Cry-Babies
I’ve personally been slandered, spoken against, kicked out of Chat-Groups, etc. for simply refusing to co-sign Relationship Cry-Babies trying to play the “Woe-Is-Me” and “Damsel-In-Distress” Cards:
I’ve personally been accused by Women of “Pandering to Men”.
I’ve personally been accused by Men of “Pandering to Women”.
Both-Accusations are 💯%-Untruth/Dishonesty.
I’ve been accused of ignoring the Trauma of Others.
That-Accusation is 💯%-Untruth/Dishonesty.
Looking forward&head
I will continue to attack Relationship Cry-Babies, wherever I find them.
Gareth Bryant
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